June 21, 2007

Tha Damn MID-YEAR-EXAM

The note thats i saw at my institut....

Mid Year Exam--[ BS1/2007 ]
25th June--Book Keeping
26th June--Business Statistic
27th June--ABC
28th June--Costing

WALAO~~~why so fast wanna mid-year-exam liao de???
why so fast June liao de??? I don wan.....
I can't make it well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Too many book and assignment that need me to go to do agian and study bk again~~
My schedule full and full jor~~~~~
I can't face the stress on this damn thing~~~
How to study all the chapters???
Which subject should i start xin??
Should i give up sum of the subject like costing??

DAMN arh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have no enough time to prepare it at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 16, 2007

I wanna to

I wanna be the girl he can goofy around
I wanna be the girl he can tell anything to
I wanna be the girl he scared to lose
I wanna be the girl he can hold hand in public and won't care what anyone says
I wanna be the girl who is always on his mind
I wanna be the girl who he wanna to share some choc dipped strawberries wif
I wanna be the girl who he wan to heat things up wif
I wanna be the girl who can be the only one in his arms
I wanna be the girl who can mede him fell touch
I wanna be the girl who can put the lips on him
Most of all i wanna be the girl he ~*loves*~

I would walk a thousand miles,
just to see him.
I would scream a thousand words,
just so he can hear me.
I would cry a thousand tears,
just so he would noe i care about him.
I would sing a thousand love songs,
just so i can think about him.
I would climb to the top of Mount Everest,
just so he know he was my world.
I would tell him "I LOVE U"
just so he would remember.


HangFok

How to say?
hmm....very good now....
such as a kids suddenly got lotz of ~*sweet*~

Too sweet de thinng alwaz made me feel dizzy..
but...
now de swet jz let me feel~*good*~
as more as the sweet he given to,as more as i wan...

Yao...
ur ben ben here to tell u...
this time i'll hold u wif tight...won't let go agian like b4...
don't worry~
all the thing will be find...

we got a lotz of time for understand each other...
like wat i told u,
when u r be together wif ur ben ben,
u can jz shout out that how much hang fok that u wan from me...
i will be the one who give u as more hang fok as u wan to...
untill u beh tahan....^^

don't worry bout ur passed...
for me...u r the most important..
for the other things....
its ok...we can settle it as good as possible by ourself...
trust me and trust urself k?

To all my lovely frens...
sorry for made u all worried me these few week...
em...i'm fine...
haven't fine like this b4..
although sick now...
although stress wif the exam which coming soon...
but i really feel that i'm fine...
coz beside me now,
got "he"..
sumone who really can made me feel "hang fok"...

o ya~
today Sarjan Tuition centre of Segamat had been held a training camp for the students at The Bukit Hampar Rock garden...
erm...as a teacher at the tuition centre sure i hv the reaspon to join the activities...
summore i have to creat all the game in the camp wif Sin Yee[a nice galz]^^

But i'm
late today....sowie ya~~
coz i awoke lately....haiz....
The most suffer thing for Charlene sure is need to woke up early in the morning...[i'm alwaz sleeping baby what]
7:00a.m. in the morning ler.....wa~~~
exspecially when the nite b4 camp i sleep 4a.m. sumthing....summore b4 sleep drunk alcohol....omg~
its really suffered while not enough sleep....[Dear scold this coz he called to sleep early i didn't hear]

em..for me the camp is quite good lor...
the students can learn more which usually didn't in BOOK...
summore students also will found that "teacher" also can be with a word "cute"^^lolz~

coz today while taking photo my students-KOK WEI shout:
"teacher why u acting cute...geliii ler~~" [=_="]SWT""

wei~~teacher cannot act cute mer??
ur teacher me har...only 18 what...
still in the age "cute" wat~~
my dear also alwaz said me cute ler^^
haha~~shy==

hmm...all the thing good lor..
activities good...sudents good...teachers good^^...
once the bad thing was the weather,its really***
the sun was very damn big while morning till noon...
there is really HOT!
but while all the activities going end...
the sky suddenly bla~~~ rain....
T_T....swt"...

ofcourse all the teacher swt""""""
and whole of my body jz wet and smelly....yeik~~
Ppl jz gt a bit better from sick what....
wan made ppl sick again....[dear,sorry made u worried o..]
so after home i jz run in to toilet for bath and then sleep...
oO...b4 that i gt go to take my madic. coz dear said mz eat b4 sleep...hmm..

today is a quite interest day in the ending of my holiday~*

ok~~nite jor~~
wan go to oi oi jor~~
nitez~~

stupid blogger

Agian my lonely insomnia nite...
Ya...jz like what i said:"shhh...leave ma alone.."

Joey
my 8 years best silly fren who jz bk from KL have a *silly* talk today:
me:"sianz...ler.."
she:"where r u?"
me:"u think ler...sure home wat.."
she:"where is ur bf?"
me:[swt"]"hmm...breke jor"
she:"huh?! what?"
me:"yaya...that day broke jor,he don wan me.."
she:"y?"
me:"b'coz i'm too QI"
she:"swt""
me:"so lar..this call fren wor...never read my blog...how u going to noe my recently?"
she:"sorry lar....me din nou bak chi mar.."
me:"swt""
she:"okok..i go see now."

well....thats the silly talking...
thats is nt any interested...
but made me more lone...
lastnite was the last day the guy named "Humphrey" in Charlene 's life...
oo...no...
maybe should say...
Charlene was death so...

Humphrey
was also lost in Charlene memories from now..
To:"sorry for bother ur life"
To:"i will give bk ur own world to u"
To:"Jz forget that gt a galz which very annoyed,who name Charlene was ran in to ur life"
To:"sorry.."
Ya...still *alwaz Charlene stlye*
Talk like i won't care..
Talk like i'm fine..
Apologize with apologize...

But...i still insomnia after that...
I though i can do it..
I though love sumone should set him free...
I know the one "honey" for "baby"..
won't cum bk anymore...

Maggie asked me after read my msg..
"where u going to run off?"
"run bk KL?"
ya...after i hear tis...
i stok....
coz i also donno where can i run to....

"did i'm the kind of galz which alwaz made ppl who beside me tired?"
"no a"
"then y all the guy who beside me leave me?"
"emm...."
"maybe he is right...i'm a galz which made ppl tired...and alwaz a too stick gal"

winki
was worried...sorry dear....

againz a nite wif alone...
lay on bed...
thinking and thinking...
after cannot TAHAN...

I run in to wash room...
Hide myself into the pool....
the damn cold water made me more awake....

I noe...
He wan me to stand up...
He wan me continue my life wif good...
He wan his baby happy alwaz....
All he done is for my own good...

But...he donno...
his baby lost soul while lost him...

He angry...
I know...
he angry y i'm nt understand him...
he angry y i didn't learn to be strong...
he angry y i didn't try to safe myself...

Sorry,my love....
I've tried to...
tried hardly to understand u as much as i can..
tried hardly to learn as stronger as i can...
tried harldy to safe myself...
but...i'm the loser in handle my own life...
coz i felt....
ya...defeat.......

so..i go far away from u...
i donno when can i forget...
but atlease while i'm trying to...
i won't annoy u.....

this is wat u wan...and i need to learn...

June 07, 2007

原来...天空是这样的...

早上六点三十分....
靠在窗边,大口大口的吸着气...仿佛不这么做就快窒息...
很安静...第一次发现失眠原来不需要在床上翻来伏去...
那只会让自己更辛苦...

静静的站着,看着暗蓝色的天空,听着耳边那鸟儿的叫声...
原来这就是早晨...
耳边传来的信息鸣声告诉着我,隔壁也有个人还没睡...
在默默陪着我...
只是从前那个属于他的心,不再会因为这样而开心...

"还不睡?乖...夜了.."
"嗯,你睡吧..安.."
**又是"乖"...我有点想念"小不乖"

"又怎么了啦?谁欺负你?"
"没..我很好.."
**"他"的欺负,从来不会让我不开心

"那...睡吧...没理由睡不着"
"别管我,安"
**是啊...没理由

看着蒙蒙的天...
有点不自觉好累...压着呀着的...好不舒服...

突然想起二姨丈...
那个总是笑呵呵的好爸爸,好丈夫,好先生....
天国您住得习惯吗?
可有后悔离开了我们...

您的宝贝都很想您...
放心,我不会让人有机会欺负他们..
这是见您最后一面,心里对你的承诺..
虽然我曾经因为周围太多人高估我的能力,
而感到压力与害怕...
虽然有那么一下下我不知如何帮忙...
但我会替您多疼他们...

记得去年底吗?
您告诉我:"很棒哦..这是人家抢不了的东西..加油"
最后一次做你说很棒的事情给你品尝,是多久前了?
好象是两个月前....
好快..时间就这样过了...
到现在,我心里还是有千万个不明白...
路是你选的...
但是你要的吗?

想起那天的现场...胸口还是会不自觉好痛...
我知道..我们都无能为力...

"I know that was stupid..but just let the stupid be"
这是我到如今还记着的...
也是..我开始了解的...
也许就想您的挚爱说的,
希望您选了对的路...

至今没人明白...
没人明白这件事对我带来了什么样的"后遗症"...
我会无时无刻在害怕...
害怕有一次面对"失去"...
突然想知道,
那最后一刻是什么样的感觉...

天亮了...
原来家里也看得见风景...
白白的云..蓝蓝的天..黄澄澄的日出...
把我的房间都染成了...
暗暗的"黄"..

下午两点,吵架了...
也不算...
算我坏了...
开始反抗你...开始埋怨..开始了我的不平衡...
你说,你不知道原来我的心是这样想的...
对不起...我...开始变自我保护的刺猬了...
不再让自己受伤...

我知道你为什么会找我...
也明白这是你的方式..
只是我很累..满满的想的都是另一人...
记得吗?
我说过我喜欢爱人..多过被爱...
所以有受伤了...
两道疤痕在一起..还蛮辣的...
谢谢你的陪伴...

但,这会是最后一次,
我以"你的君"的身份呆在那里...
以后是"颖君"咯....

五年...够了...
一千多个日子...我们都该忘记了...
五年来,
我未曾不乖,未曾反抗,未曾离开...
五年后.我决定放手..
因为"他"...
但现在...我也对自己放手了...
也许"乖"真的不好...
压抑好久,该坏了...

你是唯一知道那件事对我造成多大影响的人...
昨晚,我差点再次受影响...
只是这次,我靠自己平伏...
不再依赖...

五年过去了...
也带走了"宇锋和颖君"....

我不再向当那个人人以为成熟,处事能力好的女生...
我不再想当那个稳重,有主见的女儿...
我不再想"爱"...
我不再当个"天秤座"...
我..开始想疯...

颖君...暂时想"叛逆"了...

I meet death

what is the time now?
who si the one still awoke?
why the one awoke still awoke?
when the one awoke wanna sleep?
where the person can made the one awoke sleeep?
how can made a person forget?
5W1H....that is what a sinchew news reporter needed to understant....
feel funny to Charlene.
a stupid idiont ill silly girl
Insomnia...
a sick which disturb me tis few day.
Love...
a thing that made me wonder.
Tears...
a type of water made me mad myself.
Sad..
a feel made me lost myself.
Dream..
a funny thing made me become funny.
Promises..
a damn spoke that made fate become idiot.
Fate..
a damn thing that made human become stupid.

Jz now i talk wif mummy..i say...
i wan to leave here...
i don wan stay at Jhr anymore..
i wan go far away for study..
i wan throw "Charlene"

Yaw tell me...
he donno how to made me feel better..
i said is ok.i'll be fine.
but i didn't tell him.
i'll be fine is me.
Nt Charlene.
coz Charlene nt going to be fine anymore.
coz Charlene feel tired.
tired untill don wan wake up,don wan smile.don wan the life that made her feel "death"

Mind to tell me where is the place for find "reborn"?
I give up jor.
Give up for all.
I've tried all my best,
pamper all the ppl which beside me good,
done my best for mum & dad,
do what the ppl wan me to,
tried hardly to protact my love,
treated the one for me wif good,
change out my childish,
trying hardly to be strong,
tried to solve all the problems myself......
but although i tried my best on all...
its still lose.

i'm still the loser in life.
a damn loser,a noob.
ya,enough!!
i ady tired to be the Charlene for other.
its all enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its seem like a day for waiting death...
**A loser is shouldn't being here
can i go out for crazy?
can i go out for sum alcohol now?
can i go out for sum smoke now?
i really need its for now.
DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!!

June 04, 2007

1985

瑶告诉我,不要绑着自己。。。
因为他会代替你在我身边,保护我,爱护我,疼着我,宠着我,教我什么叫“乖女孩”。。。
虽然他不如你靠近我,不给我承诺,不会摸摸我的头,不会要我当“小乖”。。。
但他会尽力陪着我,让我粘,让我撒娇,要我当他专属的“小不乖”。。。
我明白你所不能给的。。在他身上我找得到。。。
我了解我所不要的。。在他身上我找不到。。。
可能像他说的。。。我和他。。。还有很多时间让我们彼此了解。。。
不需要急。。。
但我急。。。急着逃开你身边。。。那个不属于我专属的城堡。。。
急着流干泪。。。学习长大。。。
所以。。。
爱上你的第1985个日子。。。我。。。要学习放手了。。。