Huh~SPM going end~

Finally...the SPM exam is going to end....
Long time didn't write my blog,post my blog....coz many thing which annoyed me tis month...
SPM.....Work....Singapore trip....Passport.....and many else...
haiz....
SPM finish and at the same time means.....i'm going to leave my secondary school...start my new school life at the other place....
ya...its the another thing which annoyed me....
What course i should take?
C.A.T?
Business marketing?
Where i should study for?
Taylor?
INTI?

OMG....
its really very annoying....
stress for my new ife...it jz like the novel that i study in tis year...
once of the poem inside the novel named"The Road Taken"
The poem is talking bout the problem that meet by a person when wanna choose the new way of life....
Is jz like me now...donno what should i choose for...donno everything in life...
juz very confuse...

If can i will choose for DANCE....juz dance my dance every day without those idiot books...activities...academic...and more....
God...can u pls help me here....

Why he didn't by my side anymore?
i really need him now...need his hug..need his TAM..need his kiss...need all the things that he can given to me....
i juz need him....the only one for me,for Charlene...and only me......
but why now i lost him?
i can't hug him anymore...can't feel him anymore...can't touch him,kiss him even see him?
why he get lost?
the body,the face.the sound,the smile is all there...is all there infront me...
buy why..
why the only one for me have gone?
i suffering....i miss him....very much....
the ill girl is waiting for u to come back.....

sumtimes...human really idiot...

i noe SPM is coming...and as a student what i need now is study hard tp make sure i can do well in de exam...
but...maybe is lazy or maybe i hate de book...but no matter is what reason..i jz don't wan to study...
ofcourse i'm stress and worried for de SPM and my result...but i jz can't study....
stupid rite?
what the hell going on now???
i really donno....

the only 'one' for me now is ady far away wif me...
what i own now is jz the memories between me and him..or maybe only for me....
b'coz he never care to those memories...those sweet time...sad time...argue time...what ever lar.....
he jz didn't care on it........
why i'm the one who care..and why i'm the one in suffering?
b'coz from the begining untill now i'm the one who really fall in love.....
stupid rite???
fall in love to sumbody who didn't love you....
care so much to the one eho hurt you alwaz and alwaz..once and once....
should i hate him?? i donno..but if yes i noe i also can't do that...
jz b'coz of the stupid reason--[I love him]
izzit funny...ya....maybe u will said 'yes'....

why human got the feeling bout LOVE?
human alwaz do the thing which they noe that maybe will bring hurt to them...
human alwaz fall in a big shit hole and can't comme out anymore b'coz of the word 'LOVE'
human alwaz forget that who really love and care them is only themself....
human alwaz think that promise is true.....
its really F-U-N-N-Y!!!!!!
human really bacome an idiot when they are face to L-O-V-E
and i also in the group I-D-I-O-T!!!!!!!!

what should i do?

who am i?????

I'm thinking tis question tis few day..........
maybe u will ask for me:"What the hell question izzit?"
but i really think to know it..........
I can say that:i lose myself.........even i also donno why i'll lose myself......
i done all the thing which not my style...i done all de thing i hate...i fall in love with damn to de person i shouldn't love to.............................

What wrong with u Charlene???!!!!!!!
can u wake up!!!!!!

where are me???
the true Charlene!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why i'm in suffering!!!!!!
why don't i give up!!!!!!!!1
i'm really tired.....tired and tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel wanna to run away all of tis.....................

i hv been scared my fren and myself tat day...
i phone to my fren and cry untill cannot stop cannot control......
my fren asked
:"Where is Charlene that i noe?"
:"where is the Charlene which happy?"
:"where is the Charlene who always thinked positif?"

ya.where is me??
who am i now?
is tis myself?
i donno.........................
i just can't find myself........
stress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
D-A-M-N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT AN IDIOT!!!!!!!

or can say more correct is
"my soul gone"

i need rest...rest my mind...rest my body....
rest all i can..........
really tired.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

My trail exam result.....

Huh.....finally...the exam pass ady.....
and i get all de result of 9 subject that i taken.....
well....is not too bad...but also not very good....

BM---->B3[60]
BI---->B3[60]
BC---->A2[66]
PA---->A1[85]
MM---->D7[46]
SN---->E8[40]
PM---->D7[45]
PS---->C5[55]
SJ---->G9[20]*well...maybe you will say this is very C-H-A-M...but for me...is good ady...

i kno its maybe not good....and i'm still gambateh.........
hope that in real SPM can get more good like tis:-

BM---->A2
BI---->A2
BC---->A2
PA---->A1
MM---->B4
SN---->C6
PM---->B4
PS---->B4
SJ---->D7

THIS IS MY DREAM RESULT.........MUZ GET IT!!!!!!!!1
GAMBATEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can do anything if u stay ofcourse....but you won't..but u won't...

is all the story is end?
is all of us is end?
for me u are really important...really all that i need and i really love you very much...
Finally the story end...and i hurt...really hurt...
i cried for a night..Danny,Wei,Yaw and many of my close fren come to given me an an wei,call me to take it easy...but i can't stop my tears...
its damn...izzt?
For u i can do anything for u,if u stay ofcourse.....but u wont...but u wont.

Finally the trail exam is going to pass ady

Thx god...
After 2 weeks,now the exam is going to pass[Chinese still got 1 paper but for me thats a quit relax subject..].

U know..today i having the account paper[again..thx god]...the question which out i ady study somemore 4/5 question i can done with un-wrong....but the last of the question..erm...maybe will da bao..i careless when do it b'coz of no more times...
but anyway atlease i tried my best..

Huh...feel free after today exam...finaly can take a rest without
B-O-O-K!!!

O...i would like to share a talk of me and my dearest MR.Lee Kai Wei:-

me:"hello,izzit Mr.Lee Kai Wei?"
Wei:"yup...i am."
me:"erm...do u know who i am?"
Wei:"yup...u are my sister..."
me:"thx coz still remember me--ur sister..where are u?"[really scared he donno who am i]
Wei:"I'm now on the way to Melacca."
me:"walao...didn't ajak ppl.."
Wei:"i go with friend mar..."
me:"ok...erm...did u free tomorrow?"
Wei:"erm...maybe....but after 4 p.m."
me:"oic...then how bout Monday?"[Monday is his birthday]
Wei:"not sure yet.."
@#%*+#!!?=&*#%
me:"what??!!not sure....why.."
Wei:"coz i donno what time i wan to celebrate..."
me:"walao...busy har...like a success business men..."
Wei:"haha..."
me:"ok....then phone to me as fast as soon after u sure what time u free k.."
Wei:"k...bye..."

-----THE END------

Hai yoo~~
actually ppl wanna to date twith u and celebrate ur birthday with u mar...some more wanna to give u a supprise...but now....haiz...
Anyway is your birthday..then up to u lor...

"Bro...wish u happy 18th birthday...."

song specially for u:--

happy birthday to u
happy birthday to u
happy 18th birthday to u~
happy birthday to u~~

wish u:-
happy always
all da dreams come true..

I owe you an apology.........

sorry dear....
i know u are really very angry about me....
coz...i am very un-understanding u....
sorry...sorry...sorry...
i know for u sorry is nothing after i done the idiot thing....
but now, what i can said is juz a sorry........
and some more I Love U...
i know u are ady very "yan" me...but i still like that...
sowie...
really.. i swear i have not really wanna to said the thing and done the idiot thing some more i'm not angry u....juz feel sad at that time....
of course i also know that dear u wont forgive me like before....but dear....
u know i can't without u, u know for me u are all that i need....
And u also know always about I love u no matter what had happend between us..

If u really ask me what i wan u to present for my birthday,i will tell u..
"The best present from u is ur forgive and ur love..."

I know u ady give many chance to me for correct my fault,
i'm touch and i'm really trying to...
b'coz i know u are really wanna me to change and it is for my own good...
dear,i promise i will...
i will change to be more good without those fault anymore...

STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O-M-G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ady can't sleep for few day.....insomnia........
BM>>>BI>>>>SEJ>>>>SCIENS>>>>>MATH(today...)
D-A-M-N
i ady can't sleep with enought and goog for one week and more!!!!!!!!!!
tomorrow PM and BC.....
haven't ready up yet......
oh no........
how.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!
somemore today math i didn't finish it in time......omg!!!!!

useless.....

I juz felt my self very useless....very very damn useless...
coz i can't do anything to make my self happy...
how come i can't???!!!
i donno...really donno....
such an idiot!!!!

Touch

Thx a lots for being beside me when i really really need u....
sorry...i know my word which mistrust was hurt u...but i really scared that u will feel annoy to me....
Ya...i had to tell u the truth bout that me really can sleep with good and sweet when i'm in the warmest arm for me..
i'm really touch when i know that u do like this just b'coz wan me to have a good sleep at night....
but in the same time i also scared...scared i will fall in again..

BANGKEL SPM

ok...maybe u will ask for me what the hell izzit!!!!
let me explain to u,Bangkel SPM is a program which created by my school,for those SPM students(actually me also lar~)to study more hard for one week......
S-H-I-T(sorry~)
u know its was really an idiot program which really tired!!!!
1st, it got Group. what's group? Okey~the program got 5 group>1st,2nd,3rd......till the 5~
and the 1st group is for those science students which the Headmisters said "Cannot change them to the other..." D-A-M-N
and then my class and the other terpaksa change!!!!
Why?????i don't wan!!!!!I wan the chinese class which is mine!! I wan my dearest classmate!!!!
I don't wan the other!!!!
But......i can't do anything..~sad~
Then after the idiot changed,17 of my classmate changed to the 3rd groub and another 1(my dearest vice monitor) changed to the 4th group!!!! Oh My God!!!!!
only 12 of us still in our class!!!!(the 2nd is use our class room)
what a damn changed!!!!!i wan my classmate with us!!!i wan all chinese in class!!I don wan the malay boy which came from the behind class in my class,they are very very very B-I-S-I-N-G!!!!
Then i go and ask for my form teacher to change back my classmate with us.....
but....u know what the headmister said?!!!
"eh..mana boleh..sebab ini atur mengikut peratus keseluruhan...sains class tak sama sebab ada sains tulin"-CELAKA-
my class also the only class which got account mar!!!why u just care for science class?????how bout my the other classmate???they no nd study for account meh???
UNFAIR!!!!
peratus??!!! what a damn peratus????!!!the subject we take different with the other class what!!!!
Ok~i noe i can't do anything b'coz it's was the idea of the celaka headmister!!!

The 1st day i went inside my class(the group)....i found that it's the fault i came to school!!!!!!b'coz the malay is trying to bully us in our class!!!!where's my class's boys???!!!oh shit....there are all in group 3....
i need to protect my classmate which in 2nd group b'coz of me is the monitor.....
HAH~~~u guess what i had done??
haha~me go to report to our class teacher coz i know she will protect us....(she alwaz said me very manja~~hehe~~maybe lor~)then my dearest teacher go inside the class and give some "speech" to them......oh...thanks god...we'r safe....
and also thaks my dearest Pn Ngiam...muax...i love you so much...

the other problem is the time table.....
it was very "BORED"
3 M.P a day....one M.P 2 hours!!!!!!!!!
My Godness......
today 4 hours for science!!!!!damn boring!!!!!!!!!!
ok......i dissit....i wan Ponteng when Friday!!!
i don't wan stay in this idiot program anymore!!!!
I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!

A post for u~

我真的很感动。。。
真的，我明白你的举动是为了要我好好睡。。

打从以前我就知道，你的一个拥抱就足以让我忘掉所有忧愁。
谢谢你的拥抱，谢谢你的吻。
谢谢你不厌其烦的哄着我睡。
虽然半夜还是会翻转难眠，但无可否认，
昨晚是我这几天下来睡得最安稳的一晚。

虽然也许你只是要我好好睡，
但你让我感觉到了，
温暖。

Trail Exam

I get the time table of trail exam today...
oh....stress....
i would like to show it here.....

29/08/2006--->BM 1.....BM 2
30/08/2006--->BI 1.....BI 2

01/09/2006--->SEJARAH 1.....SEJARAH 2[my god~]
02/09/2006--->SCIENS 1...SCIENS 2 [Saturday also need E-X-A-M]
04/09/2006--->MATH 1.....MATH 2
05/09/2006--->PM.....BC 1
08/09/2006--->P.SENI VISUAL 1.....2
09/09/2006--->ACCOUNT 1.....2[Another damn Saturday]
11/09/2006--->BC 2[The last]

HUH~~~~~~faster go pass.....

love....

爱在左岸，心往右转。

有时候，热闹是一种必须,快乐亦然
生活，现实，理智，时间，
纷纷剥落爱的可能
一个又一个的她常低叹：
“孤單是一個人的狂歡
狂歡是一群人的孤單...
也许每一个表情冷漠的人，
内心都有深不可测的寂寞。
只是有的人发泄，有的人隐忍。


满街的人，每个人的表情平和安然，
谁知内里已经经历多少波澜?
无法诉说的人世里，
索性就不再诉说，
无法改变的际遇里，
索性就不去奢求.
她想，世间的感情，
从来不曾完美也不曾单纯.
人和人，都只在互相寻找，
灵魂却各自孤独...


等到有一天终于明白了，
相逢有相逢的际遇，
萍水有萍水的礼数。
有的人份比缘薄，
厮守比爱难多了，
不如放生彼此。
道一声别离，
从此风霜被收藏，
澎湃被平复。


谁说，朝朝暮暮才是终点？
告别的年代，分开的理由，
终不需，诉说出口。
不要问，为什么放手，为什么妥协。
宿命像张网，到处是挣不开的丝蔓。
即使挣开有什么意义，
如果真的要颠覆整个世界
去成全一场爱恋，
得到与得不到，没有丝毫的区别.


什么是遗憾？
可能一直被藏在心里，
紧握在手心里的，
反而细细碎碎地从指间滑落了。
原来，这世间，有一种爱，
叫爱不得......
天涯咫尺，岸上水中。
你在彼岸，我在此岸。
爱在左岸，心往右转。

不懂...

昨晚突然惊醒...
因为梦里有你，所以我不敢让自己入睡，深怕会在重复那个梦。
很傻吧?
但我必须提醒自己,不能再让自己沉沦在梦里...
因为不管是梦里的甜蜜还是我们的回忆，都只会伤害到我自己。

我一直以为，没有了你我可以很坚强，我还是会好好的..
但我错了。
我在想会不会是临睡前你的那封信息影响了我？
“还真不习惯你没在身边吵我”
无可否认，在那一刻我几乎崩溃了...
为何会这样？因为高兴？还是伤心？
我真的不知道。
只知道答应过自己不再为你流泪的话，早已被我抛在脑后了..
不管我多么努力地在控制我的情绪，眼泪还是不听话的一直流。。
不管我多么不愿意想起你，脑袋还是不停在找寻你。。
不管我在现实生活中怎么避开你，梦里还是会有你。。

你曾经告诉过我
“你离不开我的，因为你会寂寞，会空虚。”
事实证明我真的很没用，真的很没用。
没有你在身边，心空空洞洞。真的很难受。
究竟是我错了，还是爱情错了？

你说这么做，是为了让我不受伤。
但我还是受伤了。
我们之间的回忆仿佛像一把把的盐巴，恨恨的洒在我的伤口上。
“我会是你一辈子的守护神”
“我会永远在你身边疼着你”
这一切，越飘越远...

曾经听过某个朋友告诉我，
爱上一个人，就像染上了毒瘾，一种习惯，
失去了爱就象少了毒品的调剂，会令人痛苦万分。
但朋友却忘了告诉我，该怎样戒毒。。

My Family...

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my family... muax....love you all~~

Foolish

ok~~i know is my fault...b'coz delete my old blog...
haiz...what a damn day...
many thing which annoying me..

1st:TRAIL EXAM

28/8/2006....oh no!!!!!
its coming.....i haven't study all da subject...how????
BM
BI
BC
MATH
ACCOUNT
SCIENCE
P.MORAL
SEJARAH(the most idiot subject!!!!)

oh no~~~how how how???
how i getting to have my exam???
STRESS~

2nd:HIM

why he alwaz wanna to hurt me??
why he alwaz misunderstanding me??
why he alwaz been like tis????
why why why why why why???!!!!

I feel tired~~
and feel sad....
"may i leave?"that's wat i'm ask for u...
but u tell me"donno.."wat a damn answer??
i feel tired tired and tired!!!
just let me leave if i doean't means for u...
i'm hurt....
hurt b'coz u never stand by my side when i get bully(like when da xiao hong)...
hurt b'coz i like ur shadow and u just care when u think to......
hurt b'coz i donno who am i for u!!!!!!!!!!

S-H-I-T

See what i've been done~~
I deleted my old blog....damn....
how come i do that~~
STUPID lar....
Now i need started again here....sad~~