she need a long rest

打开部落格

看着空白的新建页

好久好久

心里有千言万语想要诉说

却无从下手。

不怕不怕，

不哭不哭，

你还有丫头，

那个永远不会让你一个人的丫头。

她会保护你，

帮你应付你没办法负荷的痛，

帮你面对你没办法面对的事情，

帮你挡掉所有鸟事，

你只要静静的休息，

沉溺在【青盒子】的麻醉里，

丫头会出来保护你。






-

leave me alone

Even i already known it will happen...

But,

Its still hurts a lot...

I close my eyes,

so i din see what i dun wanna to...

I cover my ears,

so i din hear what i dun thinking to...

I sleep again and again,

so i wont keep thinking what i dun wanna to remember to...

But why....

my heart still pain like shit...

But why...

my tears keep dropping on my blanket...

But why...

I still felt lonely and cant found the arm which should warm me?


even i din see...

even i din hear...

even i din think of it...

i still hurt a lot...


shhhh.....dun ask me what's going on...
just let me be alone...

ALONE...





-

100 TRUTHS (==TAGGED BY REGINA)

001. Real Name: Tan Heng Jiun

002. Nickname(s): Charlene...YaTou...AhJiun...GuanYi...

003. Age: 19 years and 6 months old

004. Horoscope: Libra

005. Male or Female: Female

006. Elementary: Kindergarden Rasa Sayang

007. Middle School: SJK(c) Li Chi

008. High School: SMK Paduka Tuan

009. College School: Institute PBTC...PTPAS...Inti College Subang Jaya...

010. Hair colour: Black+ Gold

011. Long or Short: Long

012. Loud or Quiet: Depend

013. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans

014. Phone or Camera: Phone

015. Health Freak: gastric

016. Drink or Smoke: Both

017. Do you have a crush on someone: Nop

018. Eat or Drink: Sure both

019. Piercings: No

020. Tattoos: No

021. Social or Anti-Social: Social

022. Righty or lefty: Righty

023. First piercing: Din Have..hehe

024. First relationship: 13 (cant let mummy noe XD..)

025. First Best Friend: Koh Hui Min

026. First Award: Erm...dun even remember....

027. First Kiss: dunno my daddy or mummy when i 1st born^^

028. First Pet: Tortoise

029. First Big Vacation: erm..not relly remember

030. First Love at first sight: No...

031. First Big Birthday: Big de arh...i think when 3 years old..which my parent held it for me..

032. First Surgery: Never~~

033. First sport you joined: Dance of course^^

034. Orange or Apple juice: Orange juice

035. Rock or Rap: Rock^^

036. Country or Screamo: Neither

037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys: NSYNC

038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera: Both^^

039. Night or Day: Day

040. Sun or Moon: Sun

041. TV or Internet: Both

042. Playstation or xbox: Neither

043. Kiss or hug: hug..but kiss also..haha

044. Iguana or turtle: no choice..turtle..haha

045. Spider or bee: Neither==

046. Fall or spring: Spring (together with beach and sun^^)

047. Limewire or iTunes: iTunes

048. Soccer or baseball: Neither

049. Eating: Self-made Bah Kuah

050. Drinking: Chinese Tea

051. Excitement level: nothing for me to excited now..
052. I'm about to: Go wash dishes and home with my dear^^

053. Listening to: Bargaining voices..

054. Plan for today: erm...today almost finish..yam cha wif sum friends maybe..

055. Waiting for: what i hope so to

056. Energy Level: quite ok
057. Thinking of someone: Yup... someone just in-front of me

058. Want kids?: want but not now

059. Want to get married?: want if marry with the one i love

060. When?: Depend on when i found someone who love me and i love him too

061. How many kids do you want: Below 4

062. Any name on the mind: yes..my beloved
063. What do you want to do: Lock myself in his heart

065. Mellow future or wild: Mellow future

066. Something you would never try: kill other or myself

067. When do you want to die: after 75 maybe...after i get all the things i wish to have...

068. Lips or Eyes: Eyes

069. Romantic or Funny?: Funny..
070. Shorter or Taller?: ok i noe i'm shorter...wat a satirical question==

072. Romantic or Spontaneous?: Spontaneous

073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms?: dunno XD

074. Sensitive or Loud?: Loud...

075. Hook-up or Relationship?: Relationship

076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant?: hesitant
077. Muscular or normal: normal...

078. Kissed a stranger: If my little ZunZun

079. Broken a bone: No!!!

080. Lost glasses or contacts: contacts...

081. Ran away from home: No

082. Held a gun/knife for self defence: Sure gun if can

083. Killed somebody: No==' Impossible

084. Broken some one's heart: erm...maybe not only someone..

085. Had your heart broken: Ya... someone hurt me deeply...but i still love him deeply

086. Been arrested: No

087. Cried when someone died: Yes

088. Liked a friend more than a friend: Maybe
089. Yourself: Of course!!

090. Miracles: still waiting for it

091. Love at first sight: Haven't try before

092. Heaven: Blue sky with many of marshmallows looks cloud^^

093. Santa Claus: Belief but after i din receive any of present then din anymore...

094. Tooth Fairy: NO

095. Kiss in the first date: nolorr...first date very shy shy de marr..lol

096. Angels: Maybe there is in somewhere
097. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now? : Yup~

098. Are you seriously happy with where you're in life now? : Not seriously happy but i appreciated it

099. Do you believe in God? : I belief in Buddha..

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people.

1) X.Ting
2)Jeffrey
3)Taro
4) Alexender
5)Ah Lian
6)Kar Wei
7)Miao Luu

阴晴

最近的天空都阴晴不定，
最近我身边的女人们的爱情也都阴晴不定。

是天气的影响吗？
阴晴不定的天气让大家的感情也跟着阴晴不定。
这样说好像把责任都推给了老天爷。(真不好意思，又赖天了)

A朋友说，
亲友介入的爱情让她倍感压力。

B朋友说，
暧昧的感情变淡了让她不知所措。

C朋友说，
多年的感情变质了让她的身心好累。

D朋友说，
爱的与适合的她不知道该选择什么。

我说，
放在左边胸口里珍惜的感情动摇了，
我好迷茫。

我说，
男女的感情让我们都好累，
有人可以救我吗？

我说，
女人的天性让女人总是被用心经营的爱情所伤，
我可以不要再受到感情的纠缠了吗？


[跟着心走吧。
盖上耳朵，闭上眼睛，不听其他人对你和他之间的意见，不看其他人看你和他的关系的眼神。
19岁的爱情应该是自然的，随意的。。
19岁的爱情应该是谈电话心会甜甜的，SMS笑容会满满的。
19岁的爱情应该是随性的。
前面的路还好长，谁知道以后的我们还会遇上什么样的人。谁能预测以后的我们向往的是什么样的生活。谁能保证这个人以后是你的终身伴侣？
现在该做的是好好享受恋爱带给你的快乐与甜蜜。
其他的？丢一边吧。]

看了MM的网志，
我给了她以上的留言。
我了解她的无奈，
我了解她的压力，
就如同我烦恼该不该放手，
放手后又该如何向各位[姨妈姑姐]解释我感情的变动一样。
好烦。。

烦恼我该如何做，
思考着我是否该继续为感情妥协时，
考虑着我还该不该委屈下去时，
我很幸运的身边有很疼爱我的人。。。

陈P.L小姐会告诉我，
女人也有尊严的，
没有必要一而再再而三的委屈求全。

NganZai会告诉我，
我可以成全自己的自由，
我该得到的不是这些。

Ms.See会告诉我，
慢慢放手，
那就不会那么痛苦。

就连我自己受不了，
拼命在抱怨，
歇斯底里的哭倒在我最爱的他的怀抱时，
他都会告诉我，
不是我不好而是他的问题。

‘当一对恋人在一起某段长时间后，
感情却没办法再向前迈进一步，
那也许就该让彼此休息了’

跟女人们坐着聊天，
突然脑海里浮现了这句话。

突然的，
我明白了，
不是我不够爱，
也不是你不用心经营我们的爱情，
而是一切跑出了原本该有的轨道，
而是一切停顿在原地没办法再前进。

我们之间有着再平凡不过的幸福，
一起粘着一整天，
你玩电脑我看小说，
偶尔我累了独自躺在床上睡着，
到最后起来总是会发现我身处你的怀抱里，
细数着你的打鼾声。

一起去晨运，
你总是跑在前面，而我气喘喘的在你身后追。
到我没气追了，你会停下脚步，在我身边瘙我痒。

一起吃早餐，
你总是叫我不要吃那么多，
但往往你吃的却是我的一倍。

一起去买菜，
你提篮子，我选菜。

一起煮饭，
你总是说你要煮给我吃，要我在旁边看就好。
但是每次都煮得手忙脚乱，要我救命。

再不然就是你做工，
我在家煮好晚餐等你，
每次人还没到我的电话就会收到，
【我放工了，多下就回家了，肚子好饿哦～你今晚煮什么？】的信息。

简单的幸福，
平凡的快乐。
却再也迈进不了，停顿在原地。
无法再迈进的我们一再退后，
一次又一次的争吵，
一次又一次的误会，
你和我都累了。。。

还要再继续累下去吗？
还要再彼此折磨吗？

拿起好久不买的【青盒子】，
把所有泪水都一起吸进肺里心里，
我不知道，
也不敢想象，
失去你的天空是什么颜色。。。





来自：不舍の丫头


-

成人世界的天空

最近的我很沮丧。。。
严重的沮丧。。。
连自己都不知道怎么了。

坐着看电脑思绪却可以不知道跑去哪里一个星球发呆，
节拍都乱了。。

越来越讨厌长大。
以前还在初中时总是每天在期待着要快点长大，
要离开家人的束缚，
要自己独立，
要出夜街，要这个要那个。。。

到真正长大了，
得到以前所期望得到的自由后，
才发现现实是残酷的。
自由的背后还有一大堆包袱等着你。
不论是学业，友谊，爱情，社交或是你的未来都在牵绊着你。

人与人之间的相处是否一定要某种【名份】来代表？
家人。。。朋友。。。爱人。。。情人。。。同事。。。
一大堆的名词牵绊着我们的人生。
少了这些人生却没办法美满。。

现实世界非常的残酷，
有时就算你再讨厌某些人的行事作风，
有时就算你无法接受某些人的品性，
你还是非得要忍受下来，
和他们在某个名份下相处。

只能说声‘无奈’。
也许就像某位朋友说的：‘为了生存’

小时候的我们，
总是天真的以为世界上所有东西都是美好的。
吃饱就睡，睡饱就玩。
所有东西都是新奇的。
最天真的年代却也是最幸福的。

我们不需要烦恼该如何做某些事，
我们不需要懊恼人生的不如意，
我们不需要绞尽脑汁考虑某件事的真实性，
我们不需要身处于现实世界，而已我诈的世界。

成人世界的天空总是灰灰的，
很少机会会天晴，
也许要等到放下身边所有的人和事，
丢下所有沉重的包袱，
自己一个人流浪的时候才会看见天空的蔚蓝吧。。


那天在回家乡的火车上听着一位朋友述说着她和几位朋友最近发生的冲突，
只能说我不是当事人，我不能明白她的愤怒，
但也许朋友之间要有一定的界线，
不论你和他认识多少个年头，
不管你们是否很要好，
都应该要知道彼此之间的界线在哪里。
过火了，
大家都不开心，友谊就会动摇了。
何必呢？
大家都是朋友，
为了配合某些人的脾性而闹到大家都不开心，
真的是受不了了，多年的友谊却没办法割舍，
只能自己生气，
或是找其他朋友诉苦。

明明想当面鸟死某些人，
却因为某些鸟原因不得不忍下来。

人生。。。真是他妈的犯贱！






-

HangOut

Promised Ms.Joey See that i will post those picture we capture together when we went out together last few weeks...
here is the photo..

We dated to go pasar malam@Cheras that day but finally we went dinner and sing-k..
we all dated to meet at Sunway Pyramid.
Me,X.Ting,Rachel and Boswell was the 1st who reached there and thn we wait for the next car which is from Nilai at Winter Warmer@main enterence Sunway Pyramid.
And have a kattle of peach tea there..
the drinks is introduced by Boswell,
and it taste nice^^
Get a try for it if u go there next time~


this is the peach tea photo

Boswell smoke this..
but smell not really good.

After all was there,
we went dinner at a chinese restaurant-DRAGON[龙的传人]@sunway pyramid

And once again...
got organiser..
haha..
i swear..this time i'm not the one who dated him,ok?
and we also din mean wan him to pay,
but he action that he rich there and made all of us throw our face lot and lot
so why not give him a chance to show off?
(sumtime i'm bad..i noe..XD)

here is the restaurant that we had our dinner


after dinner,
we went to New Way@oneU to singK..
Taro oso there wif us..
quite a long time din go out tgt wif him.
now got the chance since i study here and he live in subang oso^^

And again happend "sia shuei" matter at there..
shit the fucker...
hate him damn well now..

me and Daniel@NewWay
b'side he prefer me call him 涵轲as well..haha
i like his chinese name which is so call 诗情画意in chinese..
dun u think so?

nah nah nah...
Ms.See..
here is ur picture that u wish to be here quite long time...
haha...
me,Joey and also Rachel before we leave NewWay.

Three of us again haha..
actually Andeline also there de..
but the picture which got here is damn blur..
so..sorry..cant show up here..

we go back about 4a.m...
damn late...
i wonder the secure guard at my college will fell we r bad girls or not..
but so how?
i enjoy my life now..
hehe~~

Oh ya...
i accompany X.Ting to a small make-up competition that day.
She be a friend's model that day..
erm...Quite bored there..
haha..
but the friend won in the competition mienn...
haha~
here is the picture while we r waiting for the result...
ofcourse..it a edited picture of mine^^

both of us@OUG


so i quite get use on my subang life right now..
although sumtimes really bored..
haha...






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